1 – Introduction

Hello! My name is Mike Gibbons. I am a 43-year-old living in Billings, Montana, USA. I moved here in December 2021 from Northern California. I currently work in Law Enforcement; however, I am in the process of completing my bachelor’s degree in psychology. Once completed, I will be pursuing my Graduate Degree and after all the necessary training hours, I will be starting my own private practice. I am married to my beautiful wife, Shay, and I have one 19-year-old son who resides in California (hopefully only for the time being).

I enjoy many things, but not quite like I enjoy helping people. I got into Law Enforcement because I like helping people, I was a Firefighter/EMT for a brief time because I like helping people. I am realizing, through multiple and ongoing therapy sessions (trust me, that is not something I thought I would ever say, much less decide to share with anyone who cared to listen), that while I appreciate the mission that I have vowed to honor and protect, I have found that I am meant for more. I love to talk to people, hear their stories, share bits of knowledge that I have gained over 40+ years of mistakes, and if welcomed, offer advice (most of which is very good, I just don’t follow any of it myself!) Which brings me here today. Earlier this year, while talking with a partner of mine, we will call her “E” because I haven’t cleared it with her to use her name yet, I realized that I am fraught with Imposter Syndrome. After talking about it more and more with E, something that I always categorized as fear of failure/fear of success, Imposter Syndrome hit the proverbial “nail on the head”.

I lost my biological father in May 2024, and some emotions that had long been tucked away, surfaced and I quickly realized that I needed to talk to someone that was completely unbiased, and a trained professional. For years, I have confided in my wife and my mother, but while it helped momentarily, these conversations became more like sounding boards with hearty agreement to whatever was ailing me. I appreciate the relationships I have with the two most important women in my life, but I needed something that they were not able to offer. We will get more into The Deep as we move through this journey, but for now, this is light backstory as to why you are still here… you are still here, right?!

Anywho, the reason I decided to do something that I legitimately never thought I would do, is for a few reasons:

1. I like doing challenging things that scare the absolute shit outta me. (sometimes)
2. I know that I am made for more than where I currently am.
3. I want to help people in the best way I know how.
4. I really enjoy writing, especially about a subject I am the Subject Matter Expert (SME) in, ME! (But not like ME! as in, I am an arrogant shitbag that no one likes being around, like the ME! as in, I am prepared to be vulnerable and show my mistakes, my wins, my utter fuckups and my most proud moments/possessions/friends/family etc., etc., etc.)

As you may have noticed in the last list/paragraph, I tend to use some less than clean language. I have been in sports, construction, restaurants, repossessions, law enforcement, corrections and a few other areas where it is virtually an occupational dialect. I do not apologize for this language; however, I do ask for reprieve if this language offends, it is not my intention, it’s just me being real.

Operation Phoenix is my story. A story that I want to tell, not because I feel that I am so important that PEOPLE NEED TO HEAR MY STORY, but as I mentioned before, I want to help people that are going through or have gone through similar experiences and feel like they are alone. Did you know that Imposter Syndrome affects roughly 80% of the American Population, and about 30-40% of “high achievers”? I mean, Tom Brady admitted to dealing with it… TOM BRADY, while I hated him for many years (Raider Fan), he is undoubtedly the all-time greatest quarterback to ever play professional football.

 If you’re still here, you probably have some sort of idea of what Imposter Syndrome is, but just in case you don’t know and you’re still here because you like reading random blogs (welcome, I hope you enjoy!), the Oxford Dictionary definition is:

the persistent inability to believe that one’s success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one’s own efforts or skills.

Throughout this journey of retiring the Imposter (sometimes I will refer to it as the Committee), I promise to be as brutally honest, vulnerable, humorous and helpful as I can possibly muster. I ask that, no matter where you are in your journey, that you stick with me, comment, understand that I am not perfect, and laugh whenever you can, whether at me or with me, and realize that you are worthy of greatness. So… let’s go!

• Mike Gibbons